Operation: Lionfish

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration gives the following damage estimates for Category 5 Hurricanes: "Catastrophic damage will occur.  A high percentage of framed homes will be destroyed, with total roof failure and wall collapse. Fallen trees and power poles will isolate residential areas. Power outages will last for weeks to possibly months. Most of the area will be uninhabitable for weeks or months."  It was about four days before the storm would hit that we learned that Hurricane Irma was on her way.  Since neither Amy nor I had ever been through a hurricane before, we both set about our hurricane preparations in wildly different ways. First, I went diving with some fucking sharks. Now, by happenstance, at the time we heard Irma was coming, one of my oldest and dearest friends, Kalweit, was visiting from Wisconsin.  Kalweit and I have known each other for about 33 years.  We have been through thick and thin, job changes, wives and girlfrie...

******   Disclaimer:   Nothing in the following is intended in any way to make light of the catastrophic hurricanes that have struck the Caribbean and the United States in the last several weeks.   These were horrific events in which people lost their homes and sometimes their lives.   Our hearts go out to those who endured these events and to those families who lost loved ones in the tragedies.   With the idea that laughter is the best medicine, the following continues the irreverent saga of the Banyan Inn. ****** So I might as well admit it: I think I caused two hurricanes on the island. Of the seven deadly sins of which I am guilty, the one that really bites me in the ass is pride; or as my friend Christa and I call it: hubris.   Usually I try to keep a low-key attitude, but sometimes, I toot my own horn.   And EVERY.   FUCKING.   TIME.   I immediately feel the effects of my hubris.   It’s as if the Universe is telli...