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English 101

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"England and America are two countries separated by the same language." - George Bernard Shaw

** TRIGGER WARNING **  I have been informed by my mother-in-law that my blog contains too much profanity.  This installment is no exception.  Be warned, the following blog entry contains significant linguistic discussions of profanity.  If you are my mother-in-law, or are otherwise offended by swearing, please do not read the following:

As you know, the Turks and Caicos Islands are a British Overseas Territory.  This means, of course, that English is the language of the realm.  It was one of the reasons Amy and I chose this place to relocate.  As a former attorney, I felt I had a good grasp of the English language, its nuances, and use.  However, once we spent some time on the island, it became apparent that I had absolutely no fucking idea of how to speak what I thought was my native tongue.

My education in the English language was primarily administered by my two mates, Tim B. and…